CUNT SLAM
Sam. 18. Devon, England. I post things that make my mouth laugh

(Source: i-am-evolution, via manda)

zombiesandporn:

cathilia-crimson:

checkzeattic:

menthol-drops-and-angel-wings:

levi4thans:

PEOPLE DIED 

102 YEARS AGO
THEY’RE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
CHILL

I’m sure they are very chill right now.

You might even say they’re…ICE COLD.

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT 
fauxboy:

starshinethecat1:

xxgoldie12xx:

the-winchesters-in-221b:

2ollux-2hip2-2tuff:

davespritedave:

hoechlolly:

tehwhovianhufflepuff:

imagine-tenthousand:


mockinggrass:


Go big or go home 


So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.
In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.



So I decided to try it

alrighty, let’s go one more step





i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY


Story of my life


that’s a first.

I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC

I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one

therealhamster:

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars

…..a check?

(via lipring)

rainbowsfireworks:


my-bow-tie-is-kawaii:

tinkersandtoymakers:

vvargs:

My banana looks like Matt Smith




Fixed it.

OH MY GOD SCREAMING

the-pietriarchy:

protect the hoff at all costs

(via lipring)

(Source: octoberblood, via manda)

fischotterchen:

v-for-valkyr:

gerardkingofhell:

softroot:

Sometimes i forget scallops swim like this its hilarious

I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENED ON SPONGEBOB

J U N I O R

I often forget that the creator of Spongebob was actually a marine biologist at one point.

teamgif:

andrvw:

teamgif:

andrvw:

people who drink the left over milk in their cereal bowls are SICK FUCKS

I DONT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM BUT HERE IN MELBOURNE WE DONT WASTE MILK GOD DAMN IT I AM SO MAD THAT SHIT EXPENSIVE 

is your caps lock broken or are you really this passionate about milk

milk is the only thing i have left

I will lift the bowl to my face and slurp that shit right up

(via brodofeggins)

aviculor:

savvymavvy:

legitknits:

mcguirkthejerk:

kristinethequeen:

jimmysnowvakk:

This is what pisses me off about Tumblr. You all say you’re so accepting and you don’t want to offend anyone, but then thousands of people reblog something like this because Christians aren’t the minority. You wouldn’t want to offend a Muslim, and if this were offensive to them or another minority, there’d be so many comments about it. But everyone is completely fine with offending a non minority. “You’re not oppressed, you can’t talk!” You know what? I’m a Christian and this offends me and my faith, but nobody’s going to care about that because I’m not oppressed. Tumblr is hypocritical and that needs to stop.

Amen to the comment

Oh my precious lambs:

Examine why you are being offended. Because this is literally how a sunset works. There is not room for debate on this question. There is less room for debate on this than there is on just about any other thing. We are not reblogging because Christians aren’t the minority, dear ones. We are reblogging because after the debate a few days ago, creationists were given the opportunity to pose a question for non-creationists. One of these questions was:

"How can you explain a sunset if their is no god?" (sp.)

Questions, we assume, are posed so that someone might answer them. And yes, there is an answer of how exactly one can explain a sunset given the absence of a divine force. Now, you can certainly posit that God is the creator of all things and so all things came from him including the sun and light refraction and anthrax and kittens and famine and all that jazz.

But you don’t get to deny that THIS IS HOW A SUNSET WORKS, and of the necessary elements of this equation (Sun + Atmosphere + Angle = Sunset), God is not one of them. That’s because everything else is an observable phenomenon, and God is not. You can explain a sunset without God. You can go ahead and believe that God’s part of it all. That’s cool. Lots of people believe stuff like that, and I encourage you to delve into the ways that people make science and their faith jive. But if you are offended by being shown the basic scientific principals behind a sunset, you must be offended by damn near everything. And that seems exhausting. 

In short:

People getting butthurt over science, fucking love it.

"Stop teaching science, it offends me" 

(via brodofeggins)

(Source: iraffiruse, via lipring)

eziocauthon89:

safetytank:

i mISTOOK THE POLE CAP FOR PART OF ITS FACE


SO DID I
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